Driving Test 21/07/2010

Early morning for this. I had to wake up at like eight. Nightmare. Slipped down the stairs. I wondered if I could get out of the test with a slipped disc or detached retina. Probably, but without a refund as the DSA have neither compassion nor a soul.

Went round the track once before the test. The track. I sound like a moron. As if there is one track. Anyway, on this short practice, everything went well, but then again, I think I'm a better driver than everyone else in the county, despite only learning for a year. Banter between me and the driving instructor about football and his trip to China. Why the fuck are you in China? I have a driving test.

We get to the test centre after the strangest parking maneuvre of all time.

"Right, turn all the way around, reverse close to the curb, not too close, don't get close to the car."
Sounded absurd in my head. Probably perfectly normal.

Get inside the centre. Nice adequate chair.
"Do you need the toilet?"
I do, now that you had to mention it. What if the instructor says something about a toilet during the test and I instantly piss? Have I been Pavlovian conditioned? "Yes."

Shit toilet, but quite clean. Get outside. Feeling confident, like everytime I take a piss. IF I CAN PISS, I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Yeah, the test was cancelled. Due to intense traffic. Hmm.

I just drove round your track. There was no traffic, but I suppose that would make a horrible test, as nobody ever drives when there's traffic. There is never traffic. Never. That's in the Highway Code. Also, my test was then organised to Monday morning at 9:07. An incredibly specific time. When there is a rush hour of people going to their desk jobs. What? There's never intense traffic in Rush Hour obviously. Have you never been to work? Or seen that horrible Jackie Chan/guy who isn't Chris Rock film? PLENTY OF CARS.

Update tomorrow. Unless it's cancelled again due to there being roads. Even if it is cancelled, I'll write something. Sigh.